Ultra blog 5000

My wife Jill and I are going to celebrate 4 weeks on Friday. Let me tell you, if you haven't heard from every comedian in the world, men are different then women. They ask all sorts of things of you, oh, and guess what else, they don't always mean it. Can you translate this apparent woman code? Cos I sure can't. A brief glance into a recent conversation over gchat with my new wife:

Jill: not yet
hopefully soon
1:52 PM I'm actually going to leave at 3. wahoo.
1:53 PM i'm going to go running
i have to
i'm getting so fat
if i don't you have to yell at me
me: good for you
Jill: i need you to hold me accountable to running FIVE days a week
will you do that
me: I will not
but I will hold you accountable to 2, maybe 3 days
Jill: no
me: I will encourage you to run 5
Jill: five
i mean it
i have to do it
1:54 PM me: but I will not yell at you unless you go a week w/o running at least 3
and I'm not going to passively yell at you
I'll belittle you, call you fat, etc.
I will scream at you
Jill: okay
lol
1:55 PM me: and tell you that "I didn't marry an obese woman, and I expect you to go run off the fat!"
"FATTY!!!!"
maybe that's a bit much
1:56 PM Jill: that's a bit much
if you yelled that to me i wold probably cry
would*
brb
1:58 PM me: oh, okay
1:59 PM well then can you specifically detail the type of yelling I'm supposed to do?
Geez.

PTL, on the fo-real, yall. I've been waiting for a song to come out for a good bit now from a guy named Joel Auge. He's got this Michael Buble (sp?) sound about him. I don't like music from Michael Buble, let's get that straight. But the way that Joel Auge rocks out is something that for some reason I admire. He has a few songs out that are pretty good. Pretty good, truly. I don't get that excited about all of them. But the song that I'm burning on cd right now, it get's me all jittery and what not. I LOVE THIS SONG!!! I forsee this song being a very well known song, soon, and see this song further ramping the career of a new artist named Joel Auge. Okay, new in the sense that he's not blowing up on Christian stations just yet, but I sure hope he will be soon. I'm not usually one to be much of a predictor, but just you wait. The cd just came out July 1st, but you can not hear "Glory, Allelu" on his myspace.

http://www.myspace.com/joelauge

But he does have other good stuff. Stuff I like. But it doesn't get me as jazzed as the song that this particular blog is in dedication, to.

"Glory, Glory, Allelu,
We bring the glory up to you
Sweet smelling incense,
A heavenly romance."

I just emailed a record rep to see if I could get a copy of his new cd. I don't usually buy cd's anymore. I'm poor. I know it's how you support artists, and I still hold on to hopes of pumping out cd's at some point in life, but... I'm not ready to confront that issue of my life yet. :-) Plus me and the wife are intensely in debt, and are really cutting back on the entertainment portion of the budget. Here's hoping (and praying) for some free music that I've been waiting for...for a while now.

My new wife Jill and I went on a honeymoon right about 3 weeks ago, we went to Playa Del Carmen on the Yucatan Peninsula. I discovered I love snorkeling... When I'm not looking into the eyes of a Baracuda that is. I think I snorkeled for about 3 or 4 hours in all. It's just about the most beautiful place I've ever seen. We did agree that the neatest thing was the Wal-Mart and a superstore that is similar called Mega. It was just interesting to see all the products that they had compared to what we had.
Throughout all of this, I was also impressed with Jill's ability to navigate herself a bit around the Spanish language. I was really impressed, actually. I kept thinking how lost I'd be without her. I think I've decided that I really want to dedicate time to learning Spanish. I loved Mexico, it's our border to the south, and I found this website that sorta teaches you for free. http://spanishpod.com/

Beb beb beb___Vrooom! Nee-eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuum

Those are common sounds that usually involve a parent feeding their child. I've always looked at this practice as a way to encourage kids who are often upset, and who don't want to eat, to eat the darn food. Quit crying, open the mouth, the parents have worked hard to get you this food so you can now survive, so just chew and please stop complaining you dumb kids. I should mention that I was once one of these dumb kids. Anyways, the whole reason for writing this has absolutely nothing to do with kids, but has to do with the drive from Michigan to Illinois.

Jill and I got a frosty, at Wendy's of course. We're in some insane amount of debt, but found it okay to spend $1.90 on a medium frosty. We shared, we're being frugal. When we stopped to get this, Jill offered to drive, and I agreed. Well, Jill was the one that wanted the frosty, of course. Any man can tell you that he's not usually the one to say: “I need chocolate”, or “I need ice cream.” Let alone chocolate ice cream. No, women do that. And Jill did that. She wanted the frosty, but was driving. Which put us in a situation where the only way that she was going to get the frosty into her mouth was if I put it there. If I were driving, my guess is that I'd've steered with my knees as I always do, and would help myself. Jill is a safe driver, however. She holds the wheel at a steady 9 and 3.

So I was feeding Jill. Not only was I feeding her, I was trying to entertain her. Actually, I'm not sure if I was trying to entertain her, or myself. Whatever. Here's the deal, I was putting a spoon full of frosty into Jill's mouth over and over, and as it became monotonous, I found myself making airplane, motorboat, and choo choo sounds. So after doing this, I was left with a perplexing question, and a very important life question. When parents feed their children, and are forced to do the same monotonous hand motions, are they merely making noises to entertain themselves, is it all for the kids, or is it somewhere in between. Perhaps this is more important, and more complex than the tootsie pop question. Of course the answer was later to be determined as 3. So that's great! Hopefully a wise owl can help in this situation as well.