Ultra blog 5000

At the radio station I work at, we've had an incredibly awesome woman of God as a volunteer. She is very in tune with the work that God is doing, and is always making herself accessible to do God's will. Well, she and her husband are moving to North Carolina, and while it is bitter for us, it's sweet for her (sort of bittersweet for her).

Lena has encouraged me since she got here, and I'm blogging about this because I don't want to forget what Lena just told me. I believe in prophecy, and I believe that God has truly gifted Lena with this gift. She said from the moment she saw me she saw me in music ministry. She thought it might be singing, but never said anything about it, and since I work at a radio station, she thought this may be a huge part of it. "Using my voice to heal people's hearts." is what she felt the Lord gave her.

When I showed a cd that my band and I had made, Lena said that it made a lot more sense to her. She said that God is going to use my voice to heal the hearts of people. As if when I speak, the Holy Spirit will move.

I find this interesting because I have had a desire to do some sort of Prophetic worship for a loooong time. More than sorta random, truly. It's quite random. Who says, "Oh, I'd like to do prophetic worship." Especially for someone that is not being used, currently, in the gift of prophecy. And with the prophecy thing, if that comes, it comes.

Lena told me to make sure that I write down the prophecy that she gave. First of all, she said I won't be at WBGL, that this is simply a stepping stone of preparation. Perhaps creating connections within the Christian music industry. Perhaps I'm weird. :-) Perhaps Lena is weird. :-) Naaah.

I am going to use my voice for great things, it will be so big that I will not be able to contain it. God will use my voice to heal people’s hearts.

This is what Lena said.

I've had a lot of people, let me rephrase, A LOT OF PEOPLE prophecy/pray/speak over me, however you want to say, that God is going to do something HUGE. Something really, really big. I don't talk about it much, and I have like 20 dreams and desires of things I'd like to accomplish. So, maybe God is going to say, "You know all that stuff you want to do...? Well, you're not going to do it. Any of it."

My mouth may drop, I may be upset, but I do have to accept this. Whatever God wills is the most important.

I have had a lot of people tell me that I am annointed singer, and sometimes, I think people just say that in the Christian community to describe someone as being, in their opinion, good. But I have also had a few people tell me that they think God wants to use me for worship. Hmmm. Interesting. These, mind you, are people that have not heard me sing. I tend to pay much bigger attention to those.

I have often told my fiance, Jill, about how badly I want to sing. How badly I want to lead worship. Like, I would like to sing for God. As a career. As the thing I do. The response that I usually get is that it would be acceptable for me to do this. That we could get by, maintain our relationship. It would be hard, but if it's something that I really want to do, then OK. Lately, though, I think Jill is realizing that I am more serious than mere fantasizing about how neat that might be. I think that there's a part of her that does not want me to be in a band, but then there's the affirming side of her, as well. That's the part I like :-).

I am in the process of our band, Love Made Melody, probably reuniting within the next week, or so. This is a development within the past couple of days. We broke up, and we're mostly all feeling a big deal of regret, though thankful for the time off.

When I was in a band named Surrender, many years ago, I felt like God told me to quit the band, and that in a few years, He would restore the place that I was leaving, and it would be bigger and better. We had just won a battle of the bands contest that was not your local fair contest. It enabled us to play in front of about 4000 people at Festival Con Dios in Chicago. We played on the stage with bands like the Newsboys, Sanctus Real, Kutless, and more. It was also going to lead us to Nashville to play in front of a many labels, somewhere in the teens, but that never happened. The reason it never happened was because I quit the band. :-( A lot of people were mad. I felt my reasons were good for quitting.

Well, this may be God restoring what I thought was a promise from Him. I sure hope so. Perhaps this is that big tidal wave that is getting ready to happen (read post from several months ago for the details on that).

My prayer: God, use me in the way you see fit. I want to live a life that is holy and pleasing to you. I don't always do this, help me be righteous. When you go, I'll go. Where you say I go, I'll go. Whatever your will, I'll do.